Review: Coldplay's Viva La Vida

It's not often that I review stuff, but being that it's Coldplay and I've got it a day early, why the hell not, right? So if you're a fan check it out, if you're not, go stick a banana in your favorite ear. The review won't be all awesome, but instead, just very basic. Only because I don't think taking more than 30 seconds to write about a Coldplay song is necessary. Here we go...

Life In Technicolor - Starts off strong and soon grows into what we know to be Coldplay.

Cemeteries of London - Boring. You can see they're basically putting every single influence they have into their music now, which is good since you can name about 10 or so. This certainly isn't the good Coldplay from Parachutes or the shitty Coldplay from X & Y.

Lost - Starts out as if Kanye West should've introduced the song. But then it turns into a bland anthem that really doesn't go anywhere.

42 - This could easily be a Radiohead song, but Coldplay will never write anything as good as Radiohead, so at least we don't have to worry about that. As the song progresses, you'll totally see what I mean. But then Chris Martin flowers everything up by talking about how you didn't get to heaven. But you made it close. Cause, you know. That matters.

Lovers In Japan/Reign of Love - Another good example of the now standard Coldplay song: it starts, and just doesn't stop. It doesn't really change. It doesn't get better. It doesn't get worse. It just keeps going. "Isss like a sur-ko. Not like a chriangul, cause it has twee corner. Isss a sur-ko." But then to completely change it up "Hey look at this! We're throwing a completely different song at the end to make it beautiful.

Yes/Chinese Sleep Chant - Yes, I think Chris Martin was asleep when sang this. The second part of this track is the most interesting. Probably the best stuff on the album. I would've like to see them make this into an entire song.

Viva La Vida - It starts off like an '90s Madonna track but feature the typical Chris Martin vocal melodies. And then becomes AMAZING and MAJESTIC. You know. Just like every member of Coldplay and every ounce of their musical genius. By far, this is the easiest song to listen to.

Violet Hill - This song makes me want to ride a horse in a vengeful, drunken stupor. It's very cool, for being on this album. 'Nuff said.

Strawberry Swing - This song made my BAgina weep a little when I realized how beautiful each coming day can be. Not a bad song though.

Death and All His Friends/The Escapist - I have to admit, this is a good way to end the album. they manage to close it up with something meaningful. I'm happy to admit that at least there was something I enjoyed off this album, as opposed to X & Y, which was just a load of crap. And yes, The Escapist is worth listening to as well. A good compliment to the first half of the track.

Bottom Line: If you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, love Coldplay you'll probably be crying and pissing your pants the entire listen. If you used to like Coldplay, you'll remember why you no longer do. And if you don't like Coldplay, you probably never will.