Friday, August 31, 2007

Britney Spears' New Music is Some of the Best Music* I've Ever Heard

(*Substitute "Best Music" with "Worst Shit")

Oh Britney. When will it stop? The sad thing is that she's writing for all the girls that dug her back when that have grown up along side her. What she's not realizing is that those people were little girls that only like shitty music bacause they were little girls and don't know any better. Just like all the little girls that are going to hear this new shit that came out of the stupid fans that Britney still thinks she has.

*Not real penises.

Here's some samples of her brilliance. (Click the titles to stream music):

Cold as Fire
"Cold as fire, Baby. Hot as ice" - Seriously? Are you seriously trying to pass this shit off?

Gimme More
"I'm Britney, bitch." - Whoa there. Sorry bitch, no, you're not Britney cause I remember Britney. You're just white whore trash now.

I wish I had a fucking twinkie for every time I heard her voice so I could throw it in her silly, nicotine covered, chimpmunk-voiced, boozed-up slurring, cock-welcoming mouth. One day she's going to open that mouth and a bunch of semen and dog shit is going to come flowing out. And I'll be there with a bucket. Collecting it all so eager fans can buy it from me off Ebay.

Have a nice weekend :)

El Chichicuilote

Someone PLEASE go to Target and tell me how good this really is.

Incredible Slow Motion

Super Slow Motion


Robot Chicken: Season 2 Out SEPT. 4th!


The Best Anti-sex, Anti-drug Video. Ever.


Miss Hawaii Was an Idiot Too

You'll see what I mean. Click pic.

A Kiss is Still a Kiss...Or Is It?

This article reveals that many college students have found themselves attracted to someone, only to discover after they kissed them for the first time that they were no longer interested. "While many forces lead two people to connect romantically, the kiss, particularly the first kiss, can be a deal breaker." Click pic for more.

(P.S. Sorry about the man kiss. LOLZ!!1!)

Jimi Hendrix On Fire

I guess this is what you do when you have a whole year to kill.

I Present to You: Zubbles

Apparently this has taken about ten years to produce, but it's finally here. Zubbles. Colored bubbles. Due out Spring 2008. Click pic for more.

How Not to Skate Off a Roof 101

Step 1) Get on the roof with your board
Step 2) Leave the board on the roof
Step 3) Eat shit
Click pic.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Neo Waits For the Love Train

In waiting ever so desperately for a new episode of "Neo Waits For the Ghost Train" by AMDS Films I went searching and found this by Les Freres Baudrand. It's basically the same thing but Neo is struggling with his love life. It made me laugh a bit and the ending isn't too bad either.

Neo Waiting For the Love Train Episode 2


Neo Waiting For the Love Train Episode 3


Neo Waiting For the Love Train Episode 5


Neo Waiting For the Love Train Episode 6

Again & Again

"Again & Again" by The Bird and The Bee
Somehow, this is quickly becoming my new favorite.

James Brown Can Dance!

This is the dance tape that taught me how to dance. I enjoy doing the mashed potatoes. Although my prom date didn't enjoy it during "On Bended Knee" by Boyz II Men.

Simpsons Star Wars

If you haven't clicked on the link by now, you're five seconds in the past.

Scare Prank

Scaring this little girl can be fun.

Girl Scare Prank - The funniest videos clips are here

Mr. Banana

As much as I don't like bananas, I like Mr. Banana.

Dr. Phil Finds Out What Oral Sex Really Is

Thank goodness Dr. Phil let the world endulge in what I consider one of the worst things to hear come out of a completely unattractive woman's mouth. Click pic.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

M & M's: Survival of the Fittest

Please click pic. This is one of the best things I've ever read. Plus, it's short. Ha. If you're visiting this site...you have more than enough time. Here's a snippet:
"Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round."

The Puppetmaster

As if Elijah Wood weren't strange enough to look at, he's now forced me to determine whether or not I'm on serious drugs or just watching him act like a total asshole on TV.

That's the Way (My Love Is)

"That's the Way (My Love Is)" by The Smashing Pumpkins

That's The Way (My Love Is)


Target Cart Escalator

Those escalators that the two-story Targets have are a good idea. Sliding down one of them, apparently, not a good idea.


Hypercolor Furniture

Someone's come up with a chair that changes colors from body temp. Ha. I'll bet that can look pretty funny after each sexual position. Click pic for more.

Ms. Teen South Carolina

Parents React

Proud Parents Of Miss South Carolina - Watch more free videos

Emergency Call

Miss Teen South Carolina Calls 911 - Watch more free videos

How to Spend Over $1,000,000 On Food In One Day

Yeah. I said OVER $1,000,000. I don't know about you, but I have a problem paying more than a hundred on a date. Click pic.

The Most Insane Quarter Trick. Ever.


Sometimes You Lick Her C*nt


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Pogo Backflip. FAIL.


Pogo Backflip Failure - Watch more free videos

The Skull F*cking Bill of 2007

U.S. Rep. Benjamin Sinclair (R-OH) has a plan to reduce skull fucking levels in America by 5 to 7 percent.

Live From Congress: The Skull Fucking Bill Of 2007

Boxing Queen

This is what happens when you're brave enough to get in the ring, but bitch enough to run away. Click pic for hilarity.

Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Hits Passerby Instead


Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Miraculously Hits Passerby Instead

"LISTEN, Ashley!"

So, I guess it's okay to blindfold fat women and tell them to run into shit. Or at least, it's okay to laugh at her for 2.18369 minutes.

Debt Paid By Tazer

So this guy here owes his friend a hundred bucks. His friend is willing to let go of the debt if he can tazer dude at full power. Let's see what happens. :)

A Small Debt Paid In Full - Watch more free videos

Monday, August 27, 2007

Summer Fun

This is the greatest and fattest slip n slide/faceplant ever.

Tears For Fears

Here's one of the best bands ever. A few classics. Enjoy.

Change


Shout


Sowing the Seeds of Love

Cats Are Jerks


Spring Break Serial Killer


Miss South Carolina...

...what the fuck did you just say?

360 Degree Light Field Display

the technology is here and I want one. And a real light saber.

World's Stupidest Table Invented

Okay. So. Basically this table is set up so that if one person is using their fork, a string under the table prevents the other person from using theirs. The same goes for their beverage, knife, spoon, etc. Click pic for more.

HP Advert

Here's an HP commercial you haven't seen yet.

The $39,000 Motorcycle


Poor Stormtrooper

Click pic.

Steeplechase Ownage

This is what happens, when you trip when you're supposed to jump.

Being Old

Click pic.

Fights On TV


Fight On TV !!! Amazing Stuff !!! - The best video clips are here

Bathroom + Boa = Holy Sh*t


Giant Snake In The Toilet Prank - The most amazing home videos are here

Cats Are Stupid


Skatepark Fight

This is one of the best 10 second fights ever...click pic.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Michael McDonald Sings the 80's

Michael McDonald Sings the 80's

What's It Gonna Be?

This is the bestest and greatest song in the world right now.



Senju Kannon: The 1000-Hands Goddess of Mercy

I'm not sure if I thought this was cool or if I shit my pants at how creepy it is. Either way it was amazing.


Frogs Don't Like to Be Caught

Screaming Frog

Posted Jun 12, 2007

Bet you've never seen a frog do this before.


Peacebone

"Peacebone" by Animal Collective - Okay. I don't know what I feel after this video. But it's worth checking out.


I'm Going to Learn to Play Chess

I'm sure this is great at parties.

Pig Face

WTF? LOLZ!!1!

Charles Barkley's Golf Swing Sucks



Slow-Mo

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Cancer Boy


Computer Corner

Gunter Wilson tells you how to properly use online acronyms. Lol.

SUPERBAD

Watch the entire movie now before it gets taken down! Click pic.

How to Become Jason Bourne

Click pic below to learn how to do awesome shit like Jason Bourne and kick people's asses for no apparent reason.

Not Harder, Better, or Faster. Just Stronger.

"Stronger" by Kanye West feat. Daft Punk

The Most Sexual Innuendos In a Commercial. Ever.


Sunny Day Sing-Along


Jenna Jameson Is F*cking Ugly

...oh, also, the #1 pornstar in the world has decided to retire and had her implants taken out. When I first started watching porn, I was all about Jenna. You can probably see why here:

And now she's regarded as some sort of legend/icon and she's just ugly. She's decided to quit porn. And by the looks of it, she's only doing people a favor. Click hideous pic below for the story.

Mr. Spriggs BBQ

I'm hungry after hearing this jam.

"Where You Goin'?"

After taking a shot to the nuts, his reaction is the most awesome I've ever seen.

Skateboard Nut Split - Watch more free videos

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

"Do You Want Me To Take My Shoes Off?"

Rock Band Songs Released!

Okay. At first I was a bit iffy about Rock Band...but now that I've seen these songs, I just wet myself and can't wait until that shit comes out. There will also be weekly downloads to get extra songs and full albums. Here are some of the kickass songs that will be in the game:
Radiohead, "Creep"
Beastie Boys, "Sabotage"
Smashing Pumpkins, "Cherub Rock"
David Bowie, "Suffragette City"
Nine Inch Nails, "The Hand That Feeds"
Click pic for more details.

How to Use a Washing Machine For Free


Boogie Boarding

This is the right way to boogie board the wrong way.

Body Boarder Eats Sand! - For more funny movies, click here

Carpet Stain Guide

Click pic for the only carpet stain guide you'll ever need.

A Little Respect

"A Little Respect" by Erasure

Haven't heard this in a while and accidentally came across it. Luckily.

Why I Don't Trust People


Trust Me Im A Professional - Watch more free videos

34 Uses For a Can of Coca-Cola

Click pic for more.

The Little Voice In Your Head

You know that little voice in your head that tells you to NOT do something? Well, apparently, it's real. Click pic for more.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

World's Tallest Building...

...will house 1,000,000 people. Click pic to see more.

Phone Sex..

...is only good when you're surrounded by co-workers in an elevator.

http://view.break.com/353074 - Watch more free videos

Finally, People Are Starting to Hate Hip Hop

Go America. It's about fucking time you guys get it. (Lucky number 33, eh?)
"While music-industry sales have plummeted, no genre has fallen harder than rap. According to the music trade publication Billboard, rap sales have dropped 44% since 2000 and declined from 13% of all music sales to 10%. Artists who were once the tent poles at rap labels are posting disappointing numbers. Jay-Z's return album, Kingdom Come, for instance, sold a gaudy 680,000 units in its first week, according to Billboard. But by the second week, its sales had declined some 80%. This year rap sales are down 33% so far." Click pic for article.

House Faceplant

It's amazing how more and more people keep coming up with more and more inventive ways to smash their faces. Click pic.

Family Guy's Most Disturbing Moments


Get in Your Car

This guy's going to show you how he gets into his car. Click pic.

Body Part Intelligence

Click pic for a list of body parts that show people how intelligent you are. Or not.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Who's Line Is It Anyway?

I remember watching this show before it came to America. Back when the Brits had it. I was pretty funny, but I can't remember seeing anything that made me laugh this hard. All thanks, to Richard Simmons.

Top Gun Motors

This asshole wants to sell you a car. Lol. "Check me!" Click pic.

Drink Coca-Cola

I drink Coca-cola because they cater specifically to deaf/blind people.

How to Use Chopsticks

Get educated in the ways of the sticks. Click pic.

Remember the Mix Tape?

This company did. And they're bringing it back. Click pic.

Meth Can Do Wonders For Your (Scary) Appearance


What Your Food Cravings Are Trying to Tell You


Tony Hawk Ain't Got Nothing On This Guy


Don't Shove an Inexperienced Pole Dancer

Click pic. Lolz!!1!

1967 Shelby Cobra

This is why women need driving lessons. Click pic.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Dog's + Sex + Upset Stomach = WTF?


Chad Vader's Chocolate Rain


Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer

"Don't You Evah" by Spoon
A while ago I posted this little guy, Keepon. Not sure if it was on my old blog or what, but I want one. BADLY. Basically, it can recognize the beat in all songs and dance accordingly. Now it seems to be alive.


Batman: The Dark Knight SPOILERS

I'll repeat...SPOILERS. So if you DON'T want to know ANYTHING about The Dark Knight...DO NOT click on the pic below. If you do...well, click on the pic below. DUH.

Mr. Bean Finds an Invisible Drum Kit

Do You Have Autism?

Now's the time to find out. Click pic.

Illusions

This will fuck with your brain for two minutes.

Liquid Kiss


The New Spider-Man

I have a feeling he won't do as well.

How to Get Fired From Dairy Queen

Click pic. LOLZ!!1!

Don't Hate Me Because I Like Mr. Mister

"Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister

How NOT to Throw a Frisbee Out of a Window


Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Dane Cooks

This is EXACTLY how obnoxious this show would be and, thankfully, it ends exactly the way it should.

Dane Cooks

Toss My Salad


How to Use a Wristwatch as a Compass


What About Blowjobs


The Internet Phenomena Phonetic Alphabet

Click pic.

I'm Going to Buy a Gun...

...and it's going to shoot a million rounds per minute. This is pretty interesting. "Electronically" firing rounds.


Bush Wants Money...to Combat Zombies


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

10 Songs That Better Be On Guitar Hero III

So I just recently jumped on the Guitar Hero bandwagon and the third installment is coming out soon. Here's a list of songs (with evidence) that I feel should be or should have been in the Guitar Hero Series.

1) "Right Here In My Arms" - HIM
Why this song hasn't already been included, I don't know. So simple and rocking. This should definitely be one of the first tracks.


2) "Forty Six & 2" - Tool
A killer, hypnotizing riff drives this song. Good structure too. Very strong. Here's a video that explains the "shadow." After watching this video I have a completely different understanding of this song. This would be a good one for co-op bass & guitar.


3) "You Give Love a Bad Name" - Bon Jovi
How can playing the shit out of that little guitar to THIS song NOT kick ass??? Just don't prance around like the silly assholes Bon Jovi is made up of.


4) "A Favor House Atlantic" - Coheed and Cambria
Although I'm completely against this band, I have to admit all the little melodies and riffs in this song would be pretty awesome to slam out. I wouldn't dare play it too loud though 'cause I'll be damned if I replace all the windows in my apartment due to the ear-bleeding damage of this goofy-ass' voice.


5) "Warped" - The Red Hot Chili Peppers
Although, this probably wasn't the most favorite part of their career, Dave Navarro gave them quite a bit of rock in this track with a great riff. Another song that'll probably be great in co-op. And after the final pretty notes, you and your buddy can put the guitars down and make out.


6) "Hotel California" - The Eagles
I'd play this long-ass song just to play the solo.


7) "Newborn" - Muse
If you argue with this, especially the solo...fuck you. And if you think this song sucks, I have just three words for you: "Yes We Can."


8) "Bohemian Rhapsody" - Queen
The only problem there really is with this song is that you'd have to play the piano part for half the song, but the rest of it totally makes up for it.


9) "Tribute" - Tenacious D
Does anyone really need to ask why? Here's one reason: fun. Here's another reason: eat it.


And finally...

10) "One" - Metallica
I really hated Metallica when I was younger. In fact, I still do. Yeah, they kick ass. Yeah, they rock. Yeah, they...play instruments. Whatever, What I DO care about though...is this. One. This is seriously in need of being in the top 3 most fucking awesomely rocking songs ever. Is there a list of that title yet? I think I'd actually sport a James Hetfield wig. Shiiiit. I'd even sport a stylish Lars Ulrich one too.



When E-mail Doesn't Work


When Email Doesnt Work - Click here for this week’s top video clips

Life

This picture did something to my insides. Click it for full.

VW Caravans Aren't So Safe

I put this under the "LMAO" category because I bet this TOTALLY wasn't expected to happen.

Old People


Hard Landing, Soft Jaw


Biker Breaks Jaw On Handlebars - Watch more free videos

Drunk Pranks

I'm very much against pranks like these, but I wasn't about to let these videos fall off the face of the earth without sharing them.

The Stop Motion


This one went so wrong, it's very, very right. The Human Sling Shot

Monday, August 13, 2007

Jimmy Kimmel Vs. Matt Damon

Matt Damon on Jimmy Kimmel Live - This is how it began and first went down.


Oceans 13 Red Carpet - And then this...


The Bourne Ultimatum - Matt Damon gets replaced in The Bourne Ultimatunm

Preserves

Click pic for more.

A Lesson In Towing

Seriously. How stupid.

How Not To Remove A Basketball Hoop - Watch more free videos

"Saturday Waits"

"Saturday Waits" by Lonely, Dear
Dogs, booze, human hands, and costumes. Need I say more?

Fantastic Faceplant


High Speed Faceplant - Watch more free videos

Superhero Ladies Man

Once again, my new hero DaxFlame. The world will now stop as we all listen to him.


Later that day...


LOLZ!!!1!

Awesome Gymnast


Make Red

Click pic to see what ails this poor young lady.

Coin Dominoes

I really want to know how many times someone fucked that whole thing up on accident.

Kitty Surprise!


Adicolor / Pink


Hazardous Runways


'Nilla Hail


"Something's Always Wrong"

"Something's Always Wrong" by Toad the Wet Sprocket

Good find Jer.

Superfriends

Click pic for more. If you dare.

How to Ruin Summer


Big Guy Ruins Summer - Watch more free videos

The Best Hellen Keller Portrayal. EVER.

"Whoops!" I mean "(whoops.)"

Rocky the Terrible: Child Abuser


Be Kind Rewind (Thank you again, Michel Gondry)

I can't WAIT to see this.

How to Shoot Yourself in the Desert


How To Shoot Yourself In The Middle Of The Dessert - For more of the funniest videos, click here

WTF? Camera Test?


The Panic Button

I'd like this. Click pic for more.

The Worst (and by worst I mean best) Grand Prix Start. Ever.


How NOT to Jump On a Table


Friday, August 3, 2007

Shut Up Man-Tits

This is how Kevin Smith shuts you up.

Moonlight

I don't know what I'd do with it, but I want one. Click pic to more cool pics.