Talk about homosexual undertones. 10 things to watch for in this video:
1. The show's name is The Naked Brothers Band
2. The song is called "Banana Smoothie", slang for semen
3. Creepy pedophile cameraman
4. Phallic banana microphone
5. Lyrics: "Drink up/taste and swallow it. Get up/get on top of it..."
6. Kid on a fucking leash!
7. Boys with coconut bras flexing stomachs
8. Bukkake style milkshake fight
9. White substance flowing down staircase into kitchen
10. Giant banana fight
Now enjoy, "Banana Smoothie."
Monday, March 31, 2008
Michael Caine Says Heath Ledger's Joker Will Scare the Life Out of People
Perhaps that wasn't the best choice of words. Click pic.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Study Shows Cell Phones Are More Dangerous Than Cigarettes
Still no word on why people are smoking cell phones. Click pic.
Happy Sunday! Praise Da Lord!! O-mazing Grace!!!
And if you think it can't get any worse...wait til 2:52.
Worst Singer Ever Omazing Grace - Watch more free videos
Who gets drunk that early on Sundays?
Worst Singer Ever Omazing Grace - Watch more free videos
Who gets drunk that early on Sundays?
Coolest. Virus. EVER.
This only works on Mac books cause I'm guessing they have some directional, balance, "I know what angle I'm at" device. Check this out. IT's really fucking cool.
Bitch-Ass Madonna Destorys Hollywood Again. Wants To Re-make Casablanca. In IRAQ. Wait, What???
Yeah. You read that right. As if she hasn't had enough fucking playtime, she has to pull this shit. Someone kill her. Please? Click pic.
Jennifer's Gonna Be PIIISSSSSSSSED
They finally tied the knot. Yeah. It's a slow news day. Click pic.
Christopher Walken Reads The Three Little Pigs
(Possible re-post.) Lovely sweater.
Next week: Hamsel & Gramsel
Next week: Hamsel & Gramsel
Does Your Girlfriend Give You a Headache?
If she does, I hope it's not like this.
Cute Girlfriend Gives Good Head...ache - Watch more free videos
Cute Girlfriend Gives Good Head...ache - Watch more free videos
Best Karaoke Session. EVER.
"That's What's Friends Are For" by A Bunch of Jewish Assholes
Worst Karaoke Session Ever - Watch more free videos
Worst Karaoke Session Ever - Watch more free videos
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Jack Handey: "How Things Even Out"
Here's a bit of the article:
"Things tend to even out. Religion, some people say, has caused wars and fighting. Yes, but it’s also boring to sit through a church service, so it evens out. One moment you’re depressed because your doctor tells you that you have alcoholism. But then you cheer up when you go home and find a hidden bottle of vodka you had forgotten about...One day, you ask people to take a look at a skin rash you have. Then, a few days later, you’re looking at their rashes. You send someone a death threat and then, mysteriously, the police come to your house and threaten you."
Click pic.
"Things tend to even out. Religion, some people say, has caused wars and fighting. Yes, but it’s also boring to sit through a church service, so it evens out. One moment you’re depressed because your doctor tells you that you have alcoholism. But then you cheer up when you go home and find a hidden bottle of vodka you had forgotten about...One day, you ask people to take a look at a skin rash you have. Then, a few days later, you’re looking at their rashes. You send someone a death threat and then, mysteriously, the police come to your house and threaten you."
Click pic.
Cell Phone Looks Like a Pack Of Marlboros: Probably Gives You Double Cancer
This is a cell phone disguised as a pack of Marlboro cigarettes that'll set you back about $175 in China. It rocks dualband GSM, a microSD card slot, and can play MP3's.
"From the front, it looks like a real pack of Marlboros. You can even put real cigarettes in it. But secretly, it's a cell phone. The best part is the side-mounted camera feature - people might be looking for you to take cell phone pictures, but they'll never suspect your cigs! This phone is available in Taipei's ShiLin night market, next to the toilet-themed restaurant."
Ah yes, the infamous toilet-themed restaurant. A regular mecca for novelty cell phone lovers. Seriously though, great Poopoo Platter. Click pic.
"From the front, it looks like a real pack of Marlboros. You can even put real cigarettes in it. But secretly, it's a cell phone. The best part is the side-mounted camera feature - people might be looking for you to take cell phone pictures, but they'll never suspect your cigs! This phone is available in Taipei's ShiLin night market, next to the toilet-themed restaurant."
Ah yes, the infamous toilet-themed restaurant. A regular mecca for novelty cell phone lovers. Seriously though, great Poopoo Platter. Click pic.
Watch Reminds Me I Will Die, Makes Me Depressed 24 Times a Day
My life is filled with enough depressing thoughts as it is, so I don't have much interest in being reminded of my mortality whenver I want to know what time it is. But for you sickos out there that like thinking about your own death, maybe The Accurate Watch is for you. It costs $145 and features an hour and minute hand that, together, read "remember you will die". Wow, like my drunk dog, smoking and holding a handgun isn't reminder enough. Click pic.
Brass Knuckle Umbrella is a Class 5 Weapon
According to the design page, this brass knuckle umbrella or "Umbuster" was categorized as a class 5 weapon by the Victorian Police—the primary law enforcement agency in Victoria Australia. That would make it illegal to own there without a license. I don't know about all of that considering that it appears to be a concept, but I do know you could do some serious damage with it. Then again, if you got in a scuffle in the rain, the drag from the open umbrella may render your punch harmless—resulting in a swift and brutal ass kicking. Click pic.
The $0.99 Bluetooth Headset
The Bluetooth headset is the modern pocket-protector. I know I wouldn't be caught dead using one and I'm pretty sure there's a lot of you out there that think the same way. But laws are being put into effect that may have all of us using one when we're driving. Here's a Soyo FreeStyler 500 Bluetooth headset for $0.99 with $10 Google Checkout discount. Buy it and shove it into your glove compartment. Click pic.
Sean Connery Might Be a Villain In New Bond Movie, Also, Likes To Slap Women
Sean Connery, who'd previously announced his retirement from acting, recently expressed interest in doing a cameo in the latest Bond movie (presumably meaning Quantum of Solace, which is currently in production).
He says, "I wouldn't mind coming back as a Bond villain. But I don't think they would pay me enough. "They don't pay the money for other parts, only for the Bond character, although that wasn't the case when I was doing it."
Connery added, "They alsho tell me you can't schlap a women theege daysch. I watched Jamesh Bond on the DVD, and he shavesh hisch bloody chesht. The man'sh shupposhed to be an international playboy, not a bloody shyncronisched schwimmer. I tell you, the whole world'sh gone faerie."
"Thank you for your time," said the interviewer, whom Connery promptly slapped for attempting to have the lasht waird. He's tough but fair.
He says, "I wouldn't mind coming back as a Bond villain. But I don't think they would pay me enough. "They don't pay the money for other parts, only for the Bond character, although that wasn't the case when I was doing it."
Connery added, "They alsho tell me you can't schlap a women theege daysch. I watched Jamesh Bond on the DVD, and he shavesh hisch bloody chesht. The man'sh shupposhed to be an international playboy, not a bloody shyncronisched schwimmer. I tell you, the whole world'sh gone faerie."
"Thank you for your time," said the interviewer, whom Connery promptly slapped for attempting to have the lasht waird. He's tough but fair.
Friday, March 28, 2008
As Much As I Didn't Want To Post This, Here It Is Anyway: Male Pregnancy Is In Full Effect
Yeah, it pretty much goes against all things that hold the world together. I'm still a little in shock about it all. Click pic.
Tron: In Cardboard
I don't remember too much about the movie Tron. I remember when I was in high school I wanted to be a movie director and one of the projects I wanted to do was a Tron remake. It turns out that's what's being done now. I made that decision based on only one scene. The lightcycle scene. Here it is in all its cardboard glory.
And here's the original:
And here's the original:
For Those Of You C*cksuckers Out There That Just Don't "Get" Radiohead
Very well put together article. I present to you, "Radiohead For Dummies." Click pic.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Big Dog: Beta?
Last week I posted a video (I think the second one) of the terrifying Big Dog. If you don't remember or didn't see it, click HERE.
Here's the hilarious Beta Big Dog video:
Here's the hilarious Beta Big Dog video:
Stupid: Restaurants Put Bar Codes On Windows To Shop You Website Review
You take picture of the barcode and your cellphone takes you to website review. That's sure better than walking inside, looking at the menu, and seeing how busy it is. Click pic.
This Made My Day: Emo Kids Are Being Attacked & Beaten In Mexico
Yeah. You know you wanna click the pic.
Forest Whitaker Defends Spike Jonze's "Where the Wild Things Are"
Last month, the blogosphere was abuzz with rumors that the studio hated Spike Jonze’s Where the Wild Things Are, possibly because it was too dark and not kid-friendly enough. The last we heard from Warner Bros was the announcement of a much later than expected release date of October 2009. In a recent interview with MTV, Forest Whitaker, who voices the lead monster, defended Jonze’s original version, saying he took his children to see it, and they all liked it.
Forest: "I’m going to call Spike and find out what’s going on,” he promised. “The thing is, it’s one thing to read [scary stuff] in a book, but when you see an itty-bitty kid running alongside a 10-foot-giant on the side of a cliff, it gets intense. But that’s the point, because we’re representing the things inside of the kid. They represent his struggles, either him being too angry or being confused, or not feeling like he belongs."
...“[The dark scenes] are the point of the movie, and I hope that they maintain that point, because I think children can identify with a character who is upset,” ...“[The main character Max] built this whole city, and nobody likes it, and he tears it all up. He’s like, ‘Well if you don’t like it, I’m just going to tear it up!’ because he wants so badly for someone to like it.”
“This kid rolls by himself, no father figure; this is a single family home,” he continued, with passion. “His mother ends up having a boyfriend that becomes like a monster to him…people have to build trust with the people their parent starts to date…These are real issues that the character deals with, and I hope that [the filmmakers] continue to explore them, because kids need to see that; they need to see that other kids are dealing with it.”
Wow, did an actor just say something semi-intelligent? I totally agree – it’s high time we stop treating children like idiots. They’re more mature than we think. Take the 15-year-old I’m dating – some would call her a child. And to those people I pull up her shirt and say, “Your honor, do these look like the juggs of a child?”
Forest: "I’m going to call Spike and find out what’s going on,” he promised. “The thing is, it’s one thing to read [scary stuff] in a book, but when you see an itty-bitty kid running alongside a 10-foot-giant on the side of a cliff, it gets intense. But that’s the point, because we’re representing the things inside of the kid. They represent his struggles, either him being too angry or being confused, or not feeling like he belongs."
...“[The dark scenes] are the point of the movie, and I hope that they maintain that point, because I think children can identify with a character who is upset,” ...“[The main character Max] built this whole city, and nobody likes it, and he tears it all up. He’s like, ‘Well if you don’t like it, I’m just going to tear it up!’ because he wants so badly for someone to like it.”
“This kid rolls by himself, no father figure; this is a single family home,” he continued, with passion. “His mother ends up having a boyfriend that becomes like a monster to him…people have to build trust with the people their parent starts to date…These are real issues that the character deals with, and I hope that [the filmmakers] continue to explore them, because kids need to see that; they need to see that other kids are dealing with it.”
Wow, did an actor just say something semi-intelligent? I totally agree – it’s high time we stop treating children like idiots. They’re more mature than we think. Take the 15-year-old I’m dating – some would call her a child. And to those people I pull up her shirt and say, “Your honor, do these look like the juggs of a child?”
How NOT to Haunt a House
No, this isn't scary. Paranormal experts just released this home video of a horrifying ghost coming up stairs from the basement to haunt everyone in the house.
How Not to Haunt a House - Watch more free videos
How Not to Haunt a House - Watch more free videos
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
A Friend Was Harder To Find
"Parachute (Using Buddy Holly's Ghost As a)" by Fishboy
Cool/cute animated video.
Cool/cute animated video.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Student/Teacher Sex: Lisa Marinelli
She: 40. He: 17. If you’re banging your student, it would be wise if you didn’t let his parents see him pull his pants up while getting out of your car. Click pic.
I Want To Do This
It's a weird little party trick, and my other three "selfs" went to breakfast without me.
Cool Party Trick - Watch more free videos
Cool Party Trick - Watch more free videos
The Most Amazing Scarf Ever
This is a Mega Man 2 themed scarf that has all the robot bosses on it. As you can see there's Air Man and Bubble man. It's for sale if you want it, but it costs $150. It is, however, one of a kind. It is not, however, not bright yellow. I think that girl in the pic is love with me. It's like she's looking into my soul and likes what she sees. Which is probably the steak, cheese, 'n' egg burrito and hash brown I had for breakfast. Click pic for more.
Paul McCartney Attacks Heather Mills? Probably Not.
Idiot McCartney fans say his latest album contains hidden jibes at Heather Mills, because "Mister Bellamy" is an anagram of "Mills Betray Me." In other news, Sir Paul McCartney is an anagram of "Crispy Anal Rectum." Click pic.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Simple, Badass, & Amazing
"Machine Gun" by Portishead.
Yes, it's been ten years. And yes, they still kick ass.
Yes, it's been ten years. And yes, they still kick ass.
Student/Teacher Grinding: Kelly Sweet
She: 26. He: 14. Yeah. I said "grinding." The assault involved her "grinding her pubic mound" against the victim. Grinding. Click pic.
Grinding.
Grinding.
Guitar Hero "On Tour" Doesn't Look As Much Fun
I don't get this at all. I don't see why they'd do this. Nor can I see why I'd enjoy it. But hey, at least they're still keeping the dream alive. Click pic.
IMMEDIATE UPDATE: After the jump, a very neat little click-n-drag demo of how this all goes together. Kinda makes me wanna try it. Especially hearing OK Go!
SECOND IMMEDIATE UPDATE: Watching the trailer at the site just made me realize how un-fun this will be and how pathetic YOU would have to be to enjoy it.
IMMEDIATE UPDATE: After the jump, a very neat little click-n-drag demo of how this all goes together. Kinda makes me wanna try it. Especially hearing OK Go!
SECOND IMMEDIATE UPDATE: Watching the trailer at the site just made me realize how un-fun this will be and how pathetic YOU would have to be to enjoy it.
I Think Amy WINEhouse Gets Better With Age...Don't YOU???
Here she is in a class picture.
And here she is now, waiting for the garbage man to take her home.
And here she is now, waiting for the garbage man to take her home.
The Most Beautiful Picture of San Fransisco at Night You'll Probably Ever See
Click pic for a lot bigger.
Converse: How a Sports Shoe Now Owned by Nike - Came To Symbolise the Spirit of Rock
Click pic for article.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Sex In the City: Kristen Davis is In a Sex Tape
Yeah. You read that right. Not that I care, but it's better than posting a picture of that foot-faced Sarah Jessica Parker. Click pic.
Click a Link, Go To Jail
FBI posts fake hyperlinks to snare child porn suspects. Watch out, perv. Click pic.
Gillette CEO & President Wants Not Three, But FIVE Blades On Their Razors
Yeah. Check out the excerpt.
"We hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades."
Click pic for the hilarious rant.
"We hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades."
Click pic for the hilarious rant.
Family Holidays Are Ruined By This Year's Easter, the Earliest In 90 Years
Easter's date is determined by the spring equinox - the point in the year when the day and night are of equal length. If the full moon after the equinox is on a Sunday, then Easter is on the following Sunday. The formula was decided after much controversy among early Christians in 325. The festival cannot fall earlier than 22 March or later than 25 April.
It may look daunting to non-mathematicians but the fiendishly complex formula used to work out when Easter actually falls is:
((19*t+u-w-(u-(u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)+(32+2*x+2*y-(19*t+u-w- (u-(u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)-z)mod7)-7*(t+11*(19*t+u-w(u- (u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)+22*(32+2*x+2*y-(19*t+u-w-(u- (u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)-g)mod7)+114)\31
Makes sense, right? Click pic for the story.
It may look daunting to non-mathematicians but the fiendishly complex formula used to work out when Easter actually falls is:
((19*t+u-w-(u-(u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)+(32+2*x+2*y-(19*t+u-w- (u-(u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)-z)mod7)-7*(t+11*(19*t+u-w(u- (u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)+22*(32+2*x+2*y-(19*t+u-w-(u- (u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)-g)mod7)+114)\31
Makes sense, right? Click pic for the story.
The Neatest Thing You'll See All Day: Bouncing Oil
This is a picture of a stream of oil entering a pool of the same substance, bouncing off the bottom, and arcing back out.
"Normally a liquid stream colliding with a pool of liquid merges immediately upon contact, perhaps also bringing air into the pool with it. However when the pool is moving as the stream hits, it can slide along the surface being separated from the pool by a thin layer of air. The air layer supports the jet and lubricates the motion between it and the bath. The same process happens when sliding a piece of paper across a desk or when a car hydroplanes on a wet road. But instead of a hard surface like the desk or the road, the jet is on top of a liquid surface, which is flexible like a trampoline. Because of the weight of the jet and the force required to change directions, the surface is pressed downward and a dent is formed in the shape of a bowl. The sliding jet then ramps out of this bowl and into the air."
Now I have no idea whatsoever what that means, but damn does it look neat. And I'm not much of one for reading long scientific explanations, but I'm fairly certain this proves many theories, including, but not limited to: the theory that wormholes exist. That time travel is possible. That science is cool, and that motor oil makes a great sexual lubricant in a pinch.
New And Improved Bookmark Uses Air
Call me old-fashioned, but I still read books. Big ones with lots of words. And typically I just use a bill I'm not going to pay or a piece of toilet paper to mark my page. Or, if I'm desperate, I'll just dog-ear the hell out of it. Well now a group of designers have developed the ABRACADABRA bookmark. All you have to do is squeeze the air filled bladder, and BA-BOOM!, your book explodes open to the right page, showering you with torn pages. Just kidding, it just transfers the air to the other air chamber and makes a little space where you left off. I know, my design was way better. And what's up with the copy there in the graphic? First, I doubt Aladdin would appreciate someone squeezing his tube any time they want to get their read on. And secondly, the copywriter who wrote that thing about "starting the story that leads you to a whole new world" should be fired for being high at work.
More pics if you click HERE.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Bulgarian Idol Is WAY Better
If you’re not keeping up with the Bulgarian version of "American Idol", your life isn't as happy and dance filled as it should be. I don't think I'm exaggerating one bit when i say this young man may be the most electrifying singer of our generation.
And if you need more proof, here's a reminder.
Let Me Show You How I Much I Love You As I Beat On My Drum
A man who murdered his wife and kept her remains in a 44-gallon drum for 23 years will spend 21 years in jail. No. RLY. Click pic.
How NOT To Safely Transport Your Pets
For all the lovers of old news out there, here's a post for you: the dog-toting running board sack. It was published in Popular Mechanics in 1936 and still remains the safest way to travel with your pet.
When you take your dog along for a ride, but prefer not having it inside the car, it can ride safely and comfortably in this sack, which is carried on the running board. The bottom of the sack is clamped to the running board and the top is fastened to the lower part of an open window with hooks, covered with small rubber tubing to prevent marring the car.
I know what you're thinking, and yes, this is a great idea. I'm going to build one for my dog and take her for a spin around town. I'll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: Okay the dog bit me and refused to get in the sack. Luckily I'm babysitting my little brother later so maybe he'll want to go for a ride.
UPDATE: I backed over him. It's okay though, I was smart enough to test the sack on a bike first before moving to a car. I've made a few modifications, and I think he's down for another go at it.
UPDATE: Okay, I think he's somewhere between the gas station and the movie theater.
When you take your dog along for a ride, but prefer not having it inside the car, it can ride safely and comfortably in this sack, which is carried on the running board. The bottom of the sack is clamped to the running board and the top is fastened to the lower part of an open window with hooks, covered with small rubber tubing to prevent marring the car.
I know what you're thinking, and yes, this is a great idea. I'm going to build one for my dog and take her for a spin around town. I'll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: Okay the dog bit me and refused to get in the sack. Luckily I'm babysitting my little brother later so maybe he'll want to go for a ride.
UPDATE: I backed over him. It's okay though, I was smart enough to test the sack on a bike first before moving to a car. I've made a few modifications, and I think he's down for another go at it.
UPDATE: Okay, I think he's somewhere between the gas station and the movie theater.
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